Right before my oral examination, which scared many students, I had prayer time with my friends at chapel midnight. Listened “Amazing Grace” by my iPod touch and read the Psalm 23, Japanese kind of version. I remember the candle light. It was hope and courage.
Psalm 23 for Busy People, Toki Miyashina
He makes me stop and rest for quiet intervals
He provides me with images of stillness
Which restore my serenity
He leads me in ways of efficiency
through calmness of mind; and his guidance is peace
Even though I have a great many things
To accomplish each day - I will not fret
For his presence is here
His timelessness, his all-importance will keep me in balance
He prepares refreshment and renewal
In the midst of my activity
By anointing my head with his oils of tranquility
My cup of joyous energy overflows
Surely harmony and effectiveness shall be the fruit of my hours
For I shall walk in the pace of my Lord
And dwell in his house for ever
Last fall, the worst and best thing happened in my life, not only in seminary. I was almost dying.
But during the most hurtful and difficult period was actually the best time to come to know how much I have been loved by my friends, teachers, and church members. I truly recognized the power of healing and love. And love has never failed. True love has consistancy, faithfulness and integrity.
Now this is the last night in my room 24.
Listening my favorite radio station, my mind goes back these days.
I am really sincerely truly grateful that I could study at this seminary and meet my friends. I don’t know how many times I cried due to the complexed situation in my first year.
Second year, I started trying to be more socilized person as I was in Japan. I think that worked well. You can’t learn and get friends unless you open your heart to reality.
I feel a huge responsibility for my sholarship. Sholarship (or any kind of money) doesn’t come from vacuum. The money is someone’s donation. Donation is the fruit of someone’s effort and tears by their work. I didn’t get full-scholarship though, still the scholarship I could receive is quite a few amount.
Someone’s effort and hard work has supported my study. I would like to reciprocate through my contribution to Church in the world. In particular, for the Japanese church and Japan’s LGBT community, first. And then the other countries.
My experience is privilege. I know. However, unlike Aftican countries, Master degree or even PhD degree won’t have significant impact to get better job nowadays in Japan and I think in the US as well. I am not even middle-class Japanese. I may look like middle-class because I am Japanese or I have some good product. Coming from Japan or the US doesn’t mean to have money at all.
My future is not clear now.
But I believe God has plan for me. If not, why did God bring me here? Everything has meaning. No accidential life for me.
My best memories will strengthen me when I face to tough time in Japan.
Thanks room 24.